Murmurs of Zero
by Sakae Kashiwagi
Summary: Drabbles containing the tortures of Zero within his mind... Ongoing pain... Almost a narration of the manga- Borderline plagiarism... I don't know if this is complete, I don't know if it ever will be.
1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note: **This is my interpretation of a scene from the manga, chapter 23. Enjoy the madness.

oOo

_She cut herself again?_

On the tip of her finger, a drop of blood beads up, red and shining.

_It smells delicious...What a terrible thing to think. I must be a monster..._

Zero watches Yuki as she holds her finger in her other hand. She looks at him. "Lick it," she says. Her big brown eyes are so innocent.

_I shouldn't. If I do… I won't be able to stop._

She holds it up to him. Before he knows he's doing it, he takes the tip of her finger into his mouth. His tongue rolls over her nail. He follows the trail that has escaped down the side of her finger. She makes a little gasping noise. His hunger is further enticed.

_I shouldn't be doing this._

Yet he's done it before. She wants him to. She wants him to be okay.

_But this isn't okay._

As he licks down toward her wrist, Zero finds himself wondering why she tastes so wonderful. He's almost positively sure no one else would taste this good. He's never smelled anyone so tempting before. He clenches at his chest as he struggles for control. He faces away from her, yet he can't let go of her arm.

"No. Don't deny it. Only I know… that Zero is starving…" Her face is full of concern.

_Why? Why do you say these torturous things? _"Yuki…" Zero murmurs into her wrist. He holds the bare soft skin close. He is breathing heavily and the sensation makes the fine hair on her arm rise.

_I'm a terrible human being…_

He sinks his fangs into her wrist. She winces in pain.

_But I'm not a human being._

"Ow…" She whimpers.

_I'm a terrible friend._

oOo


	2. Chapter 2

**Author's Note: **This is my interpretation of a scene from the manga, chapter 24. Enjoy the madness.

oOo

A girl collapsed during the middle of class. This was one of the few things that could get Zero to take his head off his desk. He saw she had been bitten.

Zero carried the nameless faceless girl away.

Later, a meeting with him, Yuki, Kaname, and the chairman was held.

It was stated that they would have to find the perpetrator responsible. Suspects included rouge vampires and the Night Class, naturally.

"Just to remind you," Kaname said calmly, "Kiriyuu-kun is also a suspect."

Zero felt himself turn cold.

_How dare Kaname suggest this. I couldn't have done it._

"Even though Kaname-sempai does not like Zero, I thought you had accepted him." Yuki had cut in worriedly. "Do you honestly think that Zero could have attacked that girl?"

_Could I have? No. I couldn't have. I haven't lost my sanity, yet…_

"Fine, I will find out the real culprit and prove Zero is innocent." Yuki had a determined face. She grabbed Zero by the arm and began to leave.

_Innocent…_

Kaname's expression was calm.

"Come on Zero, let's go!" She dragged him out the door. Over her shoulder, with a very serious face, she mustered up the courage to continue to speak to Kaname, "Until you accept that Zero in innocent I will not speak to you Kaname-sempai." She then pouted, biting her lip as if she immediately regretted it.

The door slammed.

That was the first time that she had ever spoken to Kaname like that.

She continued to tug Zero along by the sleeve. They were almost holding hands.

Zero sighed, "If you're going to make such a face, you shouldn't have said anything to Kuran Kaname in the first place.

With her back toward him she replied, "But… Recently Kaname-sempai has been acting harder and harder toward you."

"It's always been like that, hasn't it?"

"But… Zero isn't the one who did it… I believe in you. You'll be alright Zero."

_How can she trust me so much? What have I done to deserve this trust? Why is she so wonderful…_

"It's too complicated, coming from someone who's full of regret," he murmurs.

He watched her fume over what she had just done to Kaname. Right now Kaname filled her thoughts. Her amazing Kaname. Kaname the savior. Kaname her love.

_Goddamn Kaname._

"Um, uh… Do you think he hates me now?" She asks quietly with a distressed face.

"I don't think he hates you," Zero replies with a slightly annoyed tone, "Not that I would know… Why don't you go back and take back what you said?"

"No! Sempai is the one who is wrong!"

_She is so loyal to me… I cannot understand it. I've tried to drive her away… Why won't she go? I don't want to hurt her anymore…_

oOo


	3. Chapter 3

**Author's Note: **This is my interpretation of a scene from the manga, chapter 24. Enjoy the madness.

oOo

_Blood_

The blood covers Zero's hands. Yuki stands before him. Her eyes has tears in them. Blood stains her white skin and uniform.

"A vampire's evil instinct…" she says. She begins to sway. "Zero…"

She collapses in his arms.

_Blood. The choking scent of blood._

"Yuki!" He yells, sitting upright on one of the infirmary's beds.

_It was just a dream?_

His heart is still pounding in his chest. He stares at his hands and shivers slightly.

"Zero?" Yuki comes into the infirmary, "I found you, geez!" She pulls the curtain aside to confront him. "I didn't think you would be ditching duty in a place like this." Yuki sees the sweat lingering on his brow and his horrified expression remains. "What's wrong?" Her voice is full of sincere concern.

Suddenly, he pulls her into a hug on the bed with him. The curtains flutter around them at the sudden movement.

"Yuki…" he murmurs.

Her face is quickly becoming red.

"You're alive… I thought I had killed you," he says into her hair.

A moment of silence passes between them.

"… I can't breathe… Zero."

She quickly pulls away and clasps her hands on either side of his face. Their noses are mere inches away.

"Zero. Zero!"

His eyes are wide as he stares into her own worried ones.

"Are you okay?" She asks.

He relaxes slightly. "Yeah…"

Trying to smile, Yuki sighs, "Good."

_Yeah, I…_

His hands come up to hold her face as she is still doing.

_I want these gentle hands…_

He leans in toward her. Their lips are almost touching.

_And this kind smile…_

Her hands begin to fall away from his face so that only her fingertips remain on his chin. Her eyes are wide open.

_Even though I should not want such a thing…_

He falters. He lowers his face away from her. His hands slide down to her shoulders and then to her arms. "I'm sorry. Never mind." His forehead rests on her shoulder.

_Something must be wrong with me…_

oOo


	4. Chapter 4

**Author's Note: **This is my interpretation of a scene from the manga, chapter 26. Enjoy the madness.

oOo

Zero and Yuki walked down the cold dark hallway. Yuki stopped at a window and looked out at the falling snow. Zero glanced back at her.

"I have the chairman," she began in a dazed voice, "Kaname-sempai, and Zero… and Yori-chan." She leaned heavily on the windowsill. "I'm very lucky." She looked at Zero. "I used to wonder if my parents disowned me…" Her face saddened. "Leaving such a small child in a snow storm like that…"

"Yuki-" he murmured.

"Sorry! Forget that. I really don't feel attached to them." She plastered a smile on her face and laughed half heartedly. "I don't remember them, or anything about myself, so…"

"You don't have to pretend to be fine… In front of me…" His face was serious but his tone was gentle. "Kuran Kaname was always there for you, but there are times when you are afraid of what you couldn't remember, right?"

She lowered her eyes. They stood in silence for a moment.

Yuki had a far off look in her eyes, "… Hey… If I become a vampire, do you think my heart will be stronger too?"

_What?_

His face turned to one of shock. He couldn't take his wide eyes off of her as she stared at the floor.

Her voice was small as she continued, "Kaname-sempai asked if I wanted to become a vampire… All I could say was 'yes'…" Shaking her hand in front of her, she quickly looked up at him with a nervous smile, "But really, Kaname-sempai wasn't serious about it so-"

"But you thought it would be okay if you became a vampire, right?" Zero's face was apprehensive but then his voice turned solemn. "I will never let you turn into something like that. Even if it means I have to make Kuran Kaname my enemy, even if that will make you hate me."

_I never want you to feel the blood lust I do. I never want you to become a monster like me. I will never let that bastard do such a disgusting thing to you._

oOo


	5. Chapter 5

**Author's Note: **This is my interpretation of a scene from the manga, chapter 27. Enjoy the madness.

oOo

_She was supposed to be taking a bath when I heard her scream. I rushed to the bathroom door. She said it was nothing and that she'd be right out. But I heard her voice shaking, so I stayed by the door… The door handle clicked and it opened slightly. Her naked arm came out and grasped the end of my shirt. She was still wet, and I could tell she was sitting on the floor._

_She was shaking and she was hanging on to me. I had my back to her on the other side of the wall; my arms were limp by my sides, but I was hanging on to her too._

oOo


	6. Chapter 6

**Author's Note: **This is my interpretation of a scene from the manga, chapter 30. Enjoy the madness.

oOo

"I thought I sensed something unpleasant…It's you." Kaname said looking down at Zero from the top of the stairs.

_I am greeted as devils are, as devils do._

After a few un-pleasantries, Kaname takes Zero somewhere more private to hold a conversation.

…_Never thought I would be alone with him in his bedroom._

"Were you the one who erased Yuki's memory, or not?" Zero's voice was neutral. "Are you involved in Yuki's past, or not?"

Kaname's back is to Zero as he sets papers down on a table.

Zero continued, "And if you can't answer those questions, what could the reason be? Do you have intentions of relieving Yuki's insecurities?"

Kaname brought a hand up to his face. "Then… shall I crush one of Yuki's insecurities right now?" He asked in a low voice.

Zero was launched backwards and slammed into a wall as Kaname pinned him with one arm. Pieces of the wall crack and fall around them. Such force would have killed a normal human, but neither of them is human. Zero's gun is already at Kaname's throat as Kaname's claws are already at his.

There is a tense pause.

"Kill me," Zero says, "If I get a chance, I'll probably shoot you."

The wall splinters further.

"You," Kaname says calmly while Zero's blood pulses beneath his hand, "A vampire's instinct should tell you revere and fear a pure blood… But for you to bare your fangs at me… I truly despise you."

The wall gives way in a loud crash at the same time as a gunshot explodes forth. Suddenly, they are falling into a bathroom on the other side of the wall.

"How many times did you think about killing me?" Kaname asks as a now smoking gun is held to his forehead. "But you wouldn't be satisfied if things went out that easily, would you?"

Zero is leaning against a cracked porcelain bath tub while Kaname is above him, still keeping a hold on his throat. "Pure bloods don't know when to quit?"

A drop of blood falls from Kaname's temple to land on Zero's cheek. "I don't want to hear it from someone who's not serious… Yuki would be sad if I accidentally killed you."

More blood drips onto Zero. It rolls off and down his neck.

Kaname smirks. "Your body is honesty," he says. "You see blood, and your eyes tell me you desire it… It seems there are unhealed scars on Yuki's neck, but Kiriyuu-kun, the intervals between 'the hunger' are growing shorter. Kaname's nails dug into Zero's skin. Kaname rips his hand away.

Blood flies.

Kaname puts his finger to his mouth, "I wonder if you are still able to protect Yuki with this fact."

"You should have just hit me with that first," Zero said while putting his hand to his throat. Blood poured out, but he still pointed the gun at Kaname.

"If I am to do it, it would be now, before you are unable to withstand the unbearable 'hunger' that will assault you." Kaname slowly bent down and took Zero's gun arm in his hand. "Listen, Zero." Kaname was close to Zero as he continued to speak in a low voice, "You should drink my blood now."

"Don't joke…"

"Why would it be a joke? Within my body flows the Kuran pure blood which will certainly lengthen you life. The shadows of insanity will become distant."

Zero could say nothing. His blood continued to poor out.

"It would be a problem if you died now," Kaname continued, "I've let you live this far because you've been useful to Yuki… And I know that you'd never betray her.

"…Just like you, deciding things for me…" _Bastard…_

"I know," Kaname said, "Because my feelings for Yuki are probably the same as yours."

Zero's breath was becoming heavy. "… I… just want Yuki to be able to laugh from her heart."

"As do I."

The bloody hand that had been trying to stem the flow of blood from Zero's neck came up to his face. "There is no need for her to sacrifice anything."

"That is correct," Kaname stated while closing his eyes.

_Yuki…_

Zero grabbed Kaname roughly. And then he was doing it. His fangs pierced Kaname's neck while still pointing his gun up at him. Blood poured into his mouth and spilled over. It ran down him and mixed with his own.

"Do not ever forget who the one was that gave you this blood…" Kaname was saying softly.

As Zero gulped the warm red liquid, his wounds began to knit up.

"Zero, you're supposed to be the one that hates vampires more than anyone else. I think you're more vampire-like than any other vampire."

_I'm a vampire who hate's vampires… but I'm more like a vampire than any other? I went there for Yuki, but somehow it seems like I got something for myself... Kaname is disgusting. I'm disgusting._

_I'm such a hypocrite._

oOo


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